Friday, March 16, 2012

turning five... and the heart of a mother.

I sat through church and couldn't stop the tears from flowing. And it wasn't the pretty tears either. It was the sobbing-choking-hiccuping kind of tears where all you want to do is crawl under the covers and hid in the dark while you cry your heart out. But there I was in a crowd of people, and it took everything in my willpower to hold back the tears as graciously as possible.
I just wanted to just sink through the floor because I knew.
I just knew.
It's terrible to admit, but I didn't want another baby. Rob and I started out parenthood young and naive. My selfish instinct wanted to be done after having two little girls.
But God had something so much better.
My pregnancy was long, and hard. I'm not the type of girl who enjoys being pregnant. {What the heck  is that?!} But as the days past, I fell in love with this little boy growing inside of me. I found glimpses of joy, and my perspective started changing.
Rylan came to us on St Pattys day 2007. My little Irish gift. I absolutely loved how he was born on a holiday that is one of my favs. :)
...and he has forever changed my life.
Rylan makes us laugh daily. His love for me is indescribable. His smiles lights up the room.
And he is my reminder-daily-that Gods will for us, is SO MUCH greater than we can ever think possible.
Happy Birthday, my baby boy. You make my heart explode with joy. I love you to the moon and back... X a million.

love, mommy.


  1. I remember those days! And, I recall how completely smitten you were with your beautiful Irish Blessing. Lovely post!

  2. Ok.....he was an adorable baby!!! And you are one heck of an amazing momma!!! :) happy birthday mr rylan!!

  3. He is still kissey!!! :)